Thursday, December 24, 2009

Idle quiet: a non best09 post.

I have clearly not kept up with the best09 challenge, but I have no excuses. That is to say, I don't feel the need to make excuses, but I did come to a realization: I don't like sharing.  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the posts I've run across on #best09 or by following Gwen's bookmarks, but the intimacy of the revelations sometimes takes my breath away. I don't think this is wrong; but I quickly realized I'm simply not prepared to follow suit.  I have drafted several posts in the course of this challenge, and in the end, been unwilling to hit the "publish" button. Bloggers who reveal so much of their personal, intimate lives have a certain kind of courage: I don't feel I lack courage per se, but I do lack the inclination for that degree of self-disclosure.

I do think this is an excellent way to reflect, assess, and celebrate, but for the most part, I feel best confining my personal thoughts to my journal, written or drawn, or shared with my spouse and children. I do thank Gwen for making me think, and giving me something to contemplate on, each day.  And perhaps, in the next few slow, restful days, I will catch up in my own way: perhaps, a picture with a minimum of text, because sometimes a picture is my own kind of code, for things I am unwilling to say out loud.

5 comments:

michele said...

what a thoughtful post. privacy has it's benefits doesn't it. i love your images and hope you'll post some soon.

in fact i referenced your coulee photos on my blog.

wishing you a happy new year Sophie.

Sophie_vf said...

thank you michelle. Most of my drafts do have pictures - I suppose I should bundle them up and put them together in one publishable one.

In the meantime I have high hopes of having a FO post soon - been wearing my gathered yoke pullover a lot, and am almost at the end of my ribbon lace scarf!

happy new year to you, also!

gwen bell said...

Thank you for sharing this, Sophie. I have enjoyed reading your posts and enjoy the images and words and insights you do share. I guess I tend not to notice what's left out. In person, I certainly notice it. But online...it's a different kind of story. Pauses are harder to read. And I honor them, regardless.

Sophie_vf said...

thank you for understanding, gwen. And I have been continuing to think about this - is this reluctance? shyness? (I am the least bit shy in person). Is it just good boundary setting?

Just thinking about what to say and what to leave out is an important process in itself - it's a little like what artists call negative space. There's still something with meaning there; so thank you, again.

Sophie_vf said...

sorry, I meant "not the least bit shy" in person. But in person, you know exactly who is in the room with you :)